Gunther’s annual performance evaluation

I recently received my usual lukewarm job evaluation.  You know, I’ve complained to my boss that the evaluation was less than satisfactory to me.  Actually, it was better than the one last year, which was unsatisfactory in several categories.  “Nope,” I said.  “This one won’t do at all.”

In that vein, I wish to evaluate Gunther as though he were me, getting evaluated.

I’d say he “needs improvement.”

1. Gunther has no shame.  Like a prostitute, he does tricks for a treat.  That’s how I get him to come to me when we go walking off leash.  He is little interested in coming without a bribe.  Milk Bone dog biscuits work well.
2. Same time, he is too timid to run far away, lucky for me.  After all, has no place to go but home, no one he trusts but us.  I think he has a vivid imagination and fearful.  Causes him to bark at some strangers.
3. Despite his shamelessness, or maybe because of it, he usually walks tall and proudly, prancing ahead on the sidewalk.  Thus, he is self-important and swaggers.
4. He often lacks focus.  He saw a rabbit this morning and took off after it, but the R. easily outmaneuvered Gunther, who gave up the chase after a few seconds.

He will turn two years old in early April, when we will celebrate his considerable achievements:  “kennel up,” “sit,” “down,” and “roll over.”  Oh yes, “stay.”