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Your nuts, like your face.

December 23, 2015
Unknown

Squirrel. Something like the ones in this fable.

December 22, 2015

My muse is not just dead, my muse is an asshole.  Doesn’t speak, doesn’t even offer an idea.  I hear myself shout,  “I hate you, muse!”  I listen, but I hear no answer back from the muse.  Don’t you think I’ll have to try being nicer?

That said, I think it’s time for

Another fable for modern times.

Yesterday, as I prepared for a grueling workday at Omnicare Pharmacy, I noticed two two-pound bushy red squirrels frisk and scratch as they ran up and down a tree outside my bedroom window.  I marveled at their size.

I guessed that they were mating and would soon have, er, an adult squirrel encounter.  Of course, I wanted to witness, so I settled in to watch.

Curious as I was, carefully as I watched, the pair continued to run noisily about the tree, out on one limb, jumping down to another, then back to the trunk of the old tree.  An ash tree.  Same tree our kids nailed boards on to climb and build a tree house.  Same one another of their friends hacked the bark of with a machete. P. said they were “lawless.”

The squirrels soon tired of running.  That’s when they discovered they were both girls, I think.  One might have said to the other, “You are dressed the same as I.  Don’t you think you could show some originality?”

The other glared, said,  “Goes double for you.”

The first one said, “I’m looking for a good place to hide my nuts.  Oops!  Sounds a bit risqué.”

The other answered, “I have a place.  I’m okay if you want to hide your ‘nuts’ there too.”

The first:  “I’d be crazy to do that.  You’d eat all of my nuts while I am hibernating.”

The second:  “Suit yourself! (bitch)  I have enough nuts that you could help yourself and I wouldn’t miss them.”

The first:  “I’d like to hide my nuts with yours.  What a bargain!”

The second:  “Changed your tune, what?”

The first:  “Yup.”

The second:  “Try to catch me!”

Then the two squirrels ran up and down the tree, making the same scratching sounds, going out on limbs, jumping down to other limbs, heading back to the trunk, getting warm, getting exercise.

Moral:  Your nuts, like your face, is your fortune.

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