Why I broke up with my girlfriend.

As I grew into adulthood as far as I knew the men in my family who went to war died.  I learned this from my uncle Buddy whose ship was sunk in the English Channel by a U-Boat.  I faced Vietnam.  Have you seen the Vietnam Memorial wall?  Well, I ran from Vietnam in 1968 at first, but then I relented and headed toward it, joining the military.  Intellectually I had faith that things would work out.  My gut told me I must die in Vietnam.  Buddy’s dark fate was most real to me.  I told Penny that we were finished with each other.  I was to leave for Butte the following Tuesday.  Later, Penny told me she didn’t think I made much sense.  I knew death to be the most final.  My father was dead.  My grandparents.  Buddy.  I had abandoned hope and I would have cried if I thought it would help.  Who wants to be a sad sack?  Somehow, when you are dressed in green and are shaved bald and as hard as concrete, you cannot cry if you want to.